Here's a term you probably haven't heard in awhile. Chivalry. By definition these are qualities that a medieval knight should posses and include 'the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honour, justice, and a readiness to help the weak'. Over time the concept of chivalry evolved into not only the role of a knight but of a man in general, especially towards a female. Chivalry was seen as a man tipping his hat at a woman and standing whenever they would enter or leave a room. A man would always open a door for a woman, help her carry things and give up his seat on a bus. and From this you may think, isn't this a good thing? Yes and no.
Over the years and into more modern times the term chivalry lost its true meaning and became all about men 'looking out' for women, forming 'the gentlemen'. While I believe this is extremely important and I myself aim to practice it, women began to feel that the gentleman stereotype started to actually typecast women negatively, as passive, incapable and in need of a male 'hero' figure in order to get by. This of course is quite a degrading outlook and it fuelled a big part of the feminist and gender equality movements, which for the most part were a good step forward. But I am not here to debate gender equality, that can be looked at another day. What I want to do is make a call for a shift back to chivalry.
Now when I say that, you might think it odd that I would endorse something I only just described as an oppressive force against women. But this is not at all what I am calling for, I am calling for a move back to true chivalry. A move back to the 'ethical standards that foster the development of manhood'. I am so sick of hearing of men who abuse women or children, even other men and I hate the misconception of the modern perfect male, who's manliness is decided by their physical strength and sexual activity. The code of chivalry states that a real man should be truthful, loyal, courteous, honourable to women, supporters of justice and defenders of the weak. Men are not to take part of scandals and gossip as this is harmful not only to others but too themselves as it strips away their character.
Surprisingly, the code of chivalry also speaks of romantic love as a sign of a true man, which is almost completely contradictory to the modern manhood, which seems to be measured in ones number of sexual partners, which by the way, disgusts me. No. Instead a real man, in practicing the above, realises that it is the combination of elements such as truth, courtesy, loyalty and may I add humility, that form commitment, which in turn unlocks what I consider a much manlier love. It takes guts to commit, and it takes guts to look after those who are vulnerable and those who you are responsible for.
See, where the move of the gentleman went wrong was it took the call for men to honour women as a call to make themselves look good and exert authority over them. But what honour means is to have respect of women and to regard them highly; the complete opposite. We look after them because we hold them as important to us. I don't mind the term gentleman, its nice when your actions elicit a response of gratitude from a woman or anyone for that matter. Just let your definition of a gentleman be one reflecting the code of chivalry, and not of self righteousness and control over others.
I apologise , as this post has been directly targeted at men, but I think that most women would agree that they would prefer a man that will honour them instead of oppress and exert authority over them.
So what are your thought's? Men and women, is chivalry dead? Or is it high time that men started actually acting like men again?
